Thursday, September 30, 2010

I am really not this serious

My husband thinks that based on yesterday's post I'm taking all this adoption stuff too seriously.  He hasn't read all the books yet, so probably I am taking it more seriously than he, but while I think it is serious stuff, I don't want to be too serious.  I'm thinking maybe I didn't communicate exactly what I wanted yesterday.  I certainly don't want you to fear that I will class my child as a victim and wallow in anger and grief for her woe-as-me life.  I certainly can't hold grudges for people saying things in innocence--I really do get in trouble for this myself all of the time!

So lest you think I am a too serious person (in real life I have the reputation of being funny and organized--my two most frequently used descriptions!), I thought I would share my mother's favorite joke.  *Warning* it may offend the PC police and Animal Rights Activists.

A man walked out of a bar highly inebriated followed by his pet alligator.  As he weaved down the street the alligator said, "drunk."
"Stop it," said the man.
"Drunk," said the alligator.
"I said, stop it!"
"Drunk, drunk, drunk..."
"Stop it.  I mean it!  If you say it one more time I will turn you inside out!"
"That's it!"  Now envision me reaching my arm out and pulling it back as I say:  the man reached down into the alligator's mouth, past his teeth, through his stomach and all the way to the tip of his tail and grabbed the inside of the tail and pulled it all the way through the stomach, the mouth and back past the teeth.
"There!  That should do it."  The man and alligator started walking again.

"Knurd! Knurd! Knurd!"

Now don't judge my mom too harshly, her tastes may have changed over time had she lived.  However, she did punish me for telling my sister this joke I had read in Readers' Digest:

"You were adopted, (dramatic pause) but they brought you back."

Now you are probably thinking my friends mean I am funny peculiar and not funny ha ha, but I choose to live the lie.  Thank you very much.

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