Monday, March 26, 2012

Grumpy Post...Stay Away

I am trying to be happy and content.  Certainly knowing when we are going is easier.  We did get pretty good prices on our flights...for tickets to Beijing that is.  Everything will work out.

But today it feels like traveling in May is just so much more complicated than addition to leaving my baby in an orphanage for an extra 5 weeks.

Huckleberry will miss his underwater robotics competition.

Oak will miss the Academic Festival and end of the year poster printing at work...the only time they dislike him being gone.

My sister is supposed to fly in for the second week we are gone to watch SnapDragon and Sunflower.  That week includes her anniversary, her birthday, and Mother's Day.  She can swap weeks with my sister-in-law, but then she won't get to see the baby.  Since we don't know when we'll see her again, it is a hard choice.  I'm leaving it to her.

But my long distance carrier appears to be I cannot find out her choice.  Unless I use my more expensive minutes on my prepaid cell...which I will do soon.  It is just annoying.  Very annoying.

Plus China has changed their policy and now in order to get an update on your child you have to go through one main organization...that charges $100.  It might include photos which would be nice.  It is just aggravating and who knows if they can even get an update quick enough.  But I want to see my baby.  I want to know how big she is.  I want anything to make these next 6 weeks go faster.

I don't even want to look at my friend's blogs who are in China now.  It just makes me want to weep with longing.  I don't want to be petty and I want to celebrate with them, but today is a bad day.

I am sorry (and frustrated) that I am so grumpy.  Saturday was great, and I thought, "okay I can do this."  Today I don't feel that way.

It doesn't help that my head hurts, Huckleberry forgot to take his lunch to school, and Sunflower didn't make it to the bathroom.  Now my throat hurts because while Sunflower was upstairs changing and I was downstairs cleaning the mess I screamed.


Tomorrow has to be a better day.


No Greater Love said...

Cedar....I really understand your grumpiness. I am thinking of you constantly. I'd be so grumpy, too. 6 weeks is a long time, when you would have been going in 2 days.... It's okay to be grumpy. It will end soon....and you won't be grumpy anymore...but you are in a hard period right now.

I highly suggest distracting yourself with comedy. I youtube Tim Hawkins frequently, and just laugh. :) Laughing helps so much.

I just read the Proverb this morning, about hope deferred making the heart sick. It really does. Your hope is being deferred for a while, and it's REALLY HARD.

Praying for you.


Bonnie, Jim and Ainsley said...

Sending hugs!!! I know it doesn't help but it is my turn to help hold you up. Hang in there! It is OK to be a little angry and bitter. Better to get it out of your system. Everything will work out as it was intended to. If this process has taught me one thing it is that everything happens when and how it is supposed to happen :)