Monday, February 13, 2012

Hard to Do

Today was a good day until 3:45.  Up until that point I spent a lot of time cuddling Sunflower, scrubbing the kitchen including under the microwave (though not the top of the refrigerator which is on my list), and checking my e-mail to see if we'd gotten our NVC PDF.

Lots of fun letters in that alphabet, yes?

The e-mail did come that says we got NVC approval today...but no copy of the letter so we can move on to the next step.  My husband will e-mail again tonight and we'll probably get it tomorrow, but still one more day lost.

And that is probably the reason my "day" took a turn for the worse.  Okay, so maybe on the way to pick up SnapDragon I took a wrong turn on a route that I have driven for six years, but that just made us laugh...and a little late.

But I was thinking about how we wouldn't want to go out to lunch tomorrow if we hadn't gotten the e-mail yet and where would we go for lunch anyway and who would drive and would I pick Oak up at work or...

So all of the sudden I was not as close to the school as when I left home and had to turn around.  Now our paperwork seems to be moving through the system about as fast as it can and we are on track to travel sometime in April (ignoring the trade fair) and as anxious as I am to go an pick her up, I just keep thinking about how unanxious she is for us to pick her up.  

From all accounts she is being well cared for and loved in her SWI surrounded by several other babies.  It is the life she knows and really, it is good.  Things that concern adults like getting jobs or finding spouses are not concerning her 6 month old heart.  She just knows she is warm, well fed, and loved.  The change to her will not make sense and not feel good and she won't know initially that she is loved.

So I don't want to spend the next few months whining about how long it is taking to travel even if we run into some annoying glitches.   Ummm, okay maybe I do want to whine, I just don't think it is helpful or good for me especially if I allow it to turn a good day sour.

So I am trying to focus on the things I can do (like clean house and cuddle Sunflower) and remember how I want to live my life...

So I'll confess my laziness and my bad attitude, care for my family and friends, continue my commitments at church and in life, and study my Bible and seek Christ.  

Easier to say than to do...Thank God for the Holy Spirit.



No Greater Love said...

Oh, that was good, Cedar. It is very hard to focus on the stuff of every day life, when you just want to live in the future...and for that "day" to come....

I will be praying for you!! If you want, you could spend part of your waiting time in CO...the top of my fridge is pretty dirty, too.

Adrian Roberta said...

It is so challenging those final few steps, you're so close. Cut yourself some slack (((hug))) And eat some chocolate!

Stephanie said...

So sorry to hear of your delay. The waiting is so hard!

Wolfsrosebud said...

nice pic... cool verse