Monday, January 24, 2011

IPods, Tresses, and Congee

I was planning to do this post before I was told doing it would make my blog cool, but I really, really want a cool blog, so now I have to post about it.

For those of you that know me in real life, you have heard me talk about the "funny daddy blog" that my husband and I read.  I don't bother to say their real names because you wouldn't remember as quickly as when I say "funny daddy blog" (plus I really don't know how to pronounce their last name.)  Some of you have probably also heard me refer to "funny daddy blog's wife" and "Ping's parents."  I may not have mentioned that they are starting their second adoption from China.  A little girl they know has started raising money for their orphanage donation--this is money that goes directly to the orphanage to help the children left behind and she started a blog to help her.

Currently she is planning to raise money by being sponsored to eat Congee (a rice pudding type dish) for three meals a day for three days.  If she raises enough money her dad and the funny daddy blog dad will join her in her food choice.  They've already made the congee so she wants to raise the money by Thursday.  

Those of you who have talked to me about adoption in the last few months know how indecisive I am on the topic of fund raising.  Sure, if you want to give a gift no one should reject it (we certainly wouldn't); it can represent the beauty of God's provision.  However, I would never want my friends to be pressured to give their money for our adoption, and for someone else's, well, that would be unthinkable.

However, from this child's perspective she is not raising money for someone's adoption, she is raising money for the orphans of China.  More importantly, I am not sharing her story to get you to donate.  I just want you to meet this little girl who at 12 is seeking life lessons that even as adults we tend to avoid.  She is doing things that will help her understand how an orphan in China may feel and her lessons are helping me.

The last few days I have swung back into doubt about adoption.  Not if it will happen, but if we should adopt.  (Sunday Linkage tends to do that to me.)  What right do I have to pray for my adoption to be complete knowing that some family will forever lose their daughter?  How can I judge that her life will be better here in America once she has lost her first family, first language, and birth culture?  I am not adopting to save a child, but maybe it is wrong to adopt at all.  Now I don't really believe that but I wonder and worry and feel sad.

Then I read this little girl's blog as she learns about the orphans in China.  She realizes that things cannot replace the void in her heart.  Then she thinks about giving away her hair (which she is planning to do in order to help cancer patients have wigs and raise money for the orphanage) and feels sad that her hair will be short.  But she remembers that the children in Chinese orphanages often have their heads shaved in order to prevent the spread of lice.  Very few children have long hair, and none of them have any say in how they wear their hair.  Next she decides to eat congee for three days--yes, to raise money--but also to experience what a child in an orphanage might experience as there is not a lot of variety in orphanage diets and congee being nutritious and cheap is a frequent food.

All of this serves to remind me, that yes, adoption is hard, but we are not adopting a child who lives with her parents and experiences the hair choices and rich food culture China can provide.  She lives in an orphanage (or foster care) and while she is possibly well loved, her future is not bright as orphans in China are forced to live on the outskirts of society. 

So I wanted to write this post to help this little girl raise money for orphan's in China but also to say thank you to her for reminding me of why a forever family is important.  If this also makes my blog cool, than I will not complain!  Again, I don't want anyone to feel pressure to give any money, but if you want to force the "funny daddy blog dad" to eat congee I wouldn't mind because I know his blog post about it will make me laugh.

(I plan to forward this link to my real live friends who don't usually read blogs because if I don't this post will only be seen by my 8 readers and I am counting the "funny daddy blog's wife" in that eight.Photobucket


Adrian Roberta said...

FDBW here (can you figure that one out.....?) and I just have to say *THANKYOU* for posting this! I so want Sharaya to feel encouraged in this: (advocating orphan awareness, not the fundraising part! lol) She is such a precious girl, that I'm sure kind-of reminds us of ourselves when we were her age.

You rock girl!!!

Adrian said...

And for what it's worth, I think your blog is very cool. :-)

Curtis and Deneen said...

Sharaya's mom here. Definitely a cool blog! I look forward to looking through it!