Wednesday, May 18, 2011

To Blog for Me

When I first made this blog public, my goal was to write at least 30 posts before I was bored with it and to never, ever say..."sorry it has been so long since I posted, I'll catch up soon."  

The reason for the first goal was I was following people's forum posts back to their blogs and finding one post.  Sometimes I wanted to know a lot more.  I figured about 30 posts would be the most anyone would need to feel like they were visiting a "real blog" and not an accidental web page.  Since this is my 148th post on this blog and I have 58 posts on my photography blog, I have definitely achieved this goal.

The reason for my second goal should be self explanatory.  I don't mind reading posts that explain why time has passed, but I cannot tell you how many times I've read someone's most recent post that said "I plan to catch up soon" that was posted 6-8 weeks ago.  Truly bugs me--I feel like the person is clearly dishonest.

However, there is one goal that I "set" that I have not attained.  I wanted to always be writing for me, to not feel pressure to write what I think others want to hear or to even post just to keep/get readers.  I didn't want to lose my joy of blogging or have "write blog post" become something on my ever lengthening to do list.  However, when I made this goal, I did not realize how much satisfaction I would derive from having readers and comments.  If I don't write a post, I don't get "hits" on my blog.  If my post isn't interesting or impact others, I don't get comments.  Sometimes I lose readers because I'm not interesting enough, or they disagree with me, or people can only read so many blogs because oddly enough they also have a real life or some other reason.  

It doesn't matter why some people read for a while and then stop.  I exercise that same right towards other blogs myself.   Losing readers or not getting comments can make me a little sad.  I lose a little of the joy I receive from writing a blog post.  It would not have that power if I had retained my original goal in blogging--the goal I had when I first started writing weeks before I "went public."  My blog is a place for me to write, explore my own thoughts, reach conclusions, document my growth in ideas and my family history in order to become the person God designed me to be.

I want to go back my original motivation for writing, to be less self-conscious in my posts as I was earlier when I knew no one was reading.  Blog visits and comments will always give me bursts of happiness, but I do not want them to be my reason for writing--especially since I get so very few comments here and my photography blog can definitely generate a satisfying number of comments--I want to write because of and for me.

Let's see if I can do it.

1 comment:

Adrian Roberta said...

I love when people write as if it's their own personal diary, it's so real and raw and uncensored. I enjoy your Blog!