Waiting to Hold

In October 2005 we went to our first adoption agency meeting.

We had two little boys at the time:

For Christmas 2005, I was given a Prayer Box necklace:

I started wearing it and said when asked "It represents all of our prayers for our adoption.  I'll give it to my daughter when she comes."  I have gone through 3 chains and need a new one.

In January 2006, we went to our International Adoption Training at our agency.  They gave us 3 stuffed bears.  2 for the boys and 1 for the baby girl we were planning to adopt from China.  

They have sat on top of bookshelves, our entertainment center, and our piano for the last five years.

We received a LID of 8/15/2006 and started to wait.

Then we had a daughter by birth:

And we took a trip across the country:

(Anyone know how to fix fingerprint on lens after taking the picture?)

And still we wait and pray:

(Picture from Sunflower's Dedication taken  and edited by a friend)

And we live our life:

We work on Huckleberry's Science projects,

And we have long, confusing conversations with SnapDragon,

And we watch Sunflower learn how to be a big sister.

And we wait.  We wait to hear about our agency's changes to the Waiting Child Program.  We wait to apply for our I-800 so we don't have to renew it six times.  We wait for a referral from the CCAA.  We wait to hold a fourth beloved child in our arms.

All the while praying and wishing that adding a child was as easy as adding a fourth bear to our dusty stuffed animals.

(This 4th bear is photo-shopped in.  Does anyone have a recommendation for what to do about having 3 bears to give to 4 children when we finally do adopt?  They are all the same and very soft.  I've been pondering what to do for 3 years.)