Sunday, January 22, 2012

Why No Pictures...

If you are here for our referral post, it is here.

When I wrote my post introducing Sweet Pea I wrote it to the 12 friends who read this blog and I had already warned them I wouldn't post her picture until she was officially in our arms.  But then I linked to China Adopt Talk and had over 2500 visits in the last few days.


The BEST part of those visits have been other mom's with children from Yugan introducing themselves.  Also, we are so excited about our news it is fun to have others rejoicing and celebrating with us.

But it is true that if you look around our blog you'll see I post pictures all the time.  I love photography and photos and I love staring at my children's beautiful faces.  So it is not exactly a privacy issue that is causing me to not post her picture...except it is.

First, we only have 3 pictures of our darling girl.  I have e-mailed them to friends, put them on facebook, and showed them to every single person at church today...the people who have been waiting and praying with us for the last 6 years.  (That is the scanned in and reprinted ones in order to keep the originals safe.)  So I want to share and it is a moment by moment struggle not to just upload them to the blog.

But right now those pictures are all I have of her and a part of me does not want to give that to the world.  I want to keep what little I have to myself and to those who know and care about me.  It is selfish perhaps, but I don't feel bad about it.  When I have more to share, when I have 100 pictures of our baby girl, then sharing 1 or 2 won't feel so much like giving her away to the World.

In addition, even though I use the phrase "our" she has only been matched with us.  She has an orphanage and crib mates and caregivers...she is still theirs (if she was anyone's possession).  As attached as I feel to her little picture and as much as my heart swells with love as I look into her adorable face, they are the ones who KNOW and LOVE her.  A part of me feels that posting her photo for everyone would be like taking a picture you took of the sunset and claiming I took it. 

I don't judge anyone else for posting pictures or fact good for them for being so unselfish and I LOVE looking at other people's babies...but  me...I am selfish.

Trust me.  Once she is in my arms and I have hundreds of photos, I will be sharing.  We'll have 8-10 months of being apart for which to make up.  But some things will always remain private.  After all, my husband would be very angry at me if I posted our social security numbers.

But this is what my family was doing around the time of her birth. We are very excited to have her with us next time.

(By the way, while I am posting this sooner than later to answer a comment, it is something I always intended to write.)


seabluelee said...

Cedar, congratulations! I'm so happy for you. Friends of mine adopted a baby girl from China a few years ago and she is the light of their lives. I'm praying your travel and all else goes swiftly and smoothly.

No Greater Love said...

Oh Cedar...what a thoughtful post. :) Exactly why I stalk you. I love your heart.

Anonymous said...

Good for you to keep her first precious pictures to 'real life' only. Enjoy sharing them with your loved ones. May you have a wonderful time in China and lots of love and patience for you and your family.
Greetz, Dutch mum to two Chinese treasures.