Help Equals Love

I have been thinking about attachment again since so many of the people from my favorite adoption forum are in China meeting their children or are recently home.  Building attachment between a newly adopted child and two parents takes a lot of patience, love, and self-sacrifice (on the part of the parents).  I don't know how well I will do.  There is no way to be completely prepared, but I like to practice with Sunflower anyway.  After all she needs to feel loved and secure, also.

Last week she seemed to be a little more needy, needing a little more lap time, a little more grace, and a little more help.  One morning she insisted she needed help getting dressed although she has been dressing herself for almost a year.  I decided to help her.

As I helped her, I rubbed her arms and stroked her hair and said, "Sunflower, you don't need help getting dressed.  You know how to do it.  You are a big girl now.  But today I'll help you because I love you."

It seemed like a good plan at the time.  Give her a little extra reassurance with a gentle reminder that it is a special occurrence.

Later that day she made a puddle on the ground standing 6 inches from her little toilet (it was outside with her).  Oak took her upstairs, cleaned her up, and told her to get dressed.  A few minutes later she came downstairs still unclothed with a pile of clothes in her arms.

"Mommy?  You help me?"

"No, sweetie.  You need to get dressed by yourself."

"No, Mommy.  You help me.  You'll help me because you love me."

 Sigh...I helped her.

What Does Viscosity Have to Do With It? -- Sunday Snapshot

Huckleberry examined how deep a little red boat weighted with 38 quarters sank in various liquids.

He tested 5 different liquids of whose "feeling of thickness" (viscosity) varied.

The liquids were water, canola oil, rubbing alcohol, saturated salt water, and watered down but not completely set orange jello.

His father helped pour in the materials and his mother took pictures, but otherwise Huckleberry did all of the work himself.

He ran 3 trials of each liquid and carefully recorded his data.

After reviewing his data he discovered that how thick a liquid felt was not a determining factor in how deep the boat would sink.  With some research and a discussion with his father, it was determined that the actual factor was the density (mass per unit volume) of the liquid.  This was most clearly illuminated by the orange jello vs. water comparison.  The water downed jello felt much thicker than the water.  However, since jello is primarily made out of water, and water-downed jello even more so, their densities are the same.  This is evidenced by his data that shows the boat sank the same amount in the plain water and the jello.  Salt water, being more dense than water, did not allow the boat to sink nearly as much though the feeling (viscosity) of the two types of waters felt alike.

His final project brought him an A+ at school and the right to move on to the Regional Science Fair.  In a surprising and tragic twist of fate, Huckleberry's parents forgot to take Huckleberry to the Regionals leading to many tears and apologies until Huckleberry finally snapped:

"Mom!  Stop talking about it!  I know you love me and there is always next year!"  

Huckelberry has every intention on taking on the Regionals in 6th grade when the awards are actual savings bonds as opposed to the blue ribbon he did receive in 4th grade.

Be Still

Do you ever have one of those days when your heart just hurts, and you really don't know why?  Every thing is fine, almost everything, and some things are even more than fine, but you just feel sad?  Sure, Sunflower has regressed a little in her potty training and transition can be hard, but overall, I am loving my life right now.  I have good friends, a great family, a new hobby, and am involved in some projects that make me very excited.  But still, today is just one of those days (and Sunflower actually earned a rolo on her own). Maybe others are having one of those days, too, so I thought I'd share some scripture and nature from my photography blog because remembering who God is always helps.

"For  since  the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His  eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made..." Romans 1:20

Pslam 50:11 "I know every  bird of the mountains, And everything that moves  in the field is Mine."

So nice to know I belong to God.

And that He has taken away my sin because He loves me.

“Give ear, O heavens, and let me speak;
And let the earth hear the words of my mouth.
“Let my teaching drop as the rain,
My speech distill as the dew, 

As the droplets on the fresh grass
And as the showers on the herb.
“For I proclaim the name of the LORD;
Ascribe greatness to our God!
“The Rock! His work is perfect,
For all His ways are just;
A God of faithfulness and without injustice,
Righteous and upright is He."

Deuteronomy 32:1-4

So thankful that I can turn to the light shining from God's face and be enveloped in His welcoming arms.  So thankful that He has created so much beauty in this world; beauty we can find every day even if the darkness of the world tries to overtake it.  So thankful that I have access to God's word and can read it daily without fear.  So thankful for a God of power, and might, and love.

Budget Cuts--Everyone is Doing It

Today was SnapDragon's school conference.  Tomorrow is Huckleberry's.  There were no surprises, and I don't expect any tomorrow.  What did surprise me, no it wasn't a surprise...what did sadden me was the newsletter that came home today explaining how the expected budget cuts would be affecting my children's schools.  In some ways, we are luckier than other districts.  Our class room sizes might go up a little, but they are actually keeping most teachers and not closing any schools.  In the more specific, the losses are devastating.

Our district is cutting specialists.  I don't know how it is impacting the middle schools and high schools, but for the elementary schools it is across the board.  Currently every school has two out of three specialists--P.E., Library (ITT), or Science.  Huckleberry's school has the first two and SnapDragon's school has the second two.  Next year they will have no specialists though the libraries will be open for use and some Librarians will stay with less hours.

I am most upset about the science teacher (who does get to stay at the school as a regular teacher) but who as the science teacher has the children come down from each class 3 days a week to a "lab" and is able to do continuing science education from year to year.  The librarian is, of course, helpful in keeping the library neat and the collection up to date, but she also teaches the children power point and the Dewey decimal system and how to research and use the computers.  There will not be time for all of this anymore and the teachers who were able to work on their own curriculum and class projects during specialist time (including P.E.) will have only more to teach and less time to prepare.

I know how dedicated and hard working the teachers are at my children's schools.  Their passion is not always rewarded with successful students; state tests say our schools are failing as badly as the rest of my state's public schools.  I understand we are out of money.  I believe the best key to a child's success in school is parental involvement.  I do not know the solution.  

What I do know is that one more blow has been dealt to all those teachers, administrators, specialists, bus drivers, and lunch ladies* who still pour their heart and soul out in an effort to help and educate children.  Maybe my children's schools will rise from the beating with continual hope and renewed dedication...this time...but maybe someday they'll give up.

Why not?  So much of society already has.  I am certainly losing heart.  What kind of future does our country have then?

*SnapDragon's lunch lady continually followed up on him after the death of his grandma last year because he was so clearly sad--and he usually brings a sack lunch.

Getting a Little Excited

This is a post about math.  Math and adoption.  Things can always change, but the math is starting to look good.

It appears fairly definite (though not completely confirmed) that China sent out referrals for families that have Log In Dates of June 21-30th.  10 Days!  

This puts our LID of 8/15/2006 only 46 days from referral.  Even if they go back to the more usual pace of 5 days a month we are only 9 months away from a referral (46/5=9.2).  Yeah, yeah, I am properly saddened that those babies need homes in the first place, but I cannot help be a little happy that we might someday actually get a referral!

On the flip side, if they do a few more 10 day batches we could be only 5 months from referral (46/10=4.6).  Ummmm, that is a problem because in a desire to not have our paperwork expire we haven't actually renewed anything yet and some of it takes a bit of time.

So I am little excited AND a bit panicked!  This is not a bad place to be.

Wisdom from Above

I have always wanted to have wisdom.  Ever since I was a little girl and heard the story of Solomon pleasing God by asking for wisdom.  I was bright enough to know the point of THAT story!  I've studied the passages that say those of us lacking wisdom can ask God for it and He will grant it.  So I pray and ask God for it.

With three children and a desire to adopt a fourth, I can always use some more wisdom.  And I believe God has given me some from time to time; I am certainly wiser than I was 20 years ago, or even 2.  However, I've never thought, "oh, me.  I'm so wise!"  This is probably good since pride is a sin, but it has also made me skip over some verses that I recently read anew and felt quite struck by.

James 3:13-18:

"Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.  But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth.  This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic.  For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.  But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.  And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

Okay, this is going to seem pretty silly, but basically, this passage starts out with "Who among you is wise and understanding?" Because I didn't think of myself as wise and understanding, I didn't really bother applying this passage to my life.  Jealousy and selfish ambition are rarely my "sin of choice" ie my biggest temptations, so I've never taken the time to memorize this scripture or meditate on it.  

However, last week I was struggling a bit with jealousy and selfish ambition AND this passage came up in my Bible study homework.  Immediately God used it to speak to me and sooth my soul.  Truly it was like an immediate balm; I cannot even explain it unless you have also felt God's word seep into the cracks in your hurting heart. 

The details of what was happening to make me hurt is not relevant, but I really want to share what the passage says to me.

First, "who among you is wise and understanding?"

Well, not I, but I certainly WANT to be.  God will give me (and you) wisdom and understanding, and this passage tells us what that will look like.  

It will be and be evidenced by:

good behavior

our gentle deeds

pure

peaceable

gentle

reasonable

full of mercy

full of good fruits

unwavering

without hypocrisy

righteous

sowing peace

It will NOT be:

bitterly jealous

selfish ambition

lies

earthly

natural

demonic

disorderly

evil

I know it is just a list straight from the Bible verses.  But it is the scripture that has the power to change us not my rambling words.  But the thing is, when I pray for wisdom and ask God to guide me, it is such a big idea and almost too vague.  When I look at God's definition of wisdom, how He breaks it up into little pieces, all of a sudden some decisions become much clearer (not all, but some).  

Why do I want to make a decision one way or the other?  

What is difficult in this choice?  

Is it because what I want to do personally conflicts with what is ultimately best for all?  

If so, all of a sudden my decision becomes easier.  It can still hurt to let go of my selfish desire/ambition, but there is peace in the confidence that comes from choosing the right behavior that is clear with God's wisdom.

Are there any verses that the Holy Spirit has revealed to you in a whole new light, that God has poured like molasses over your heart and filled in some aching cracks?

 

Chalk, Pirates, and PinWheels--Sunday Snapshot

On my photography blog I participate in a weekly shoot and edit challenge.  There is a contest for the best straight out of the camera shot.  These week's theme is sidewalk chalk so I went outside in the quest to take the best picture of chalk that I could.  

It started in the morning with Sunflower.  However, she wanted to take the chalk in to wash it because it had dirt on it, wanted her hands washed, and squatted in a most unladylike way (some cute photos, but NOT blog appropriate).  

Very shortly we ended up picking up the chalk and playing in the backyard instead.

Then in the afternoon, when the boys were home, we tried again.

SnapDragon decided to draw flowers for me, but that didn't sit so well with Huckleberry.

He decided to pout sit down in sadness if brother wasn't willing to draw boats with him.  Sunflower didn't care.  

She was more interested in organizing the chalk than drawing anything.  However, SnapDragon quickly gave into his brother's emotional blackmail changed his plans and started creating his boat. Then everyone was busy.

Huckleberry's boat was completed first so he started searching the area for enemies.

 Soon another pirate attacked leading to a long and lengthy battle.

Huckleberry was eventually overcome by SnapDragon which required the building of an underground brigade.

He did say brigade, but I think maybe he meant brig.  The ability to build a brig underground is the wonderful magic of chalk.

Eventually Sunflower brought all of her pieces of chalk over for her brother to pick up and we all went inside for dinner.

We had a great time outside playing (so grateful for this week's sun) but I never got the perfect straight out of the camera shot I wanted.  I might enter a pinwheel shot instead.

Pinwheels are identical to sidewalk chalk, right?