Thursday, April 28, 2011

Getting to Know Them

One thing that was said at MOPS Summit a few weeks ago was that "to love well, you must get to know a person--what makes them, them."  This is really a kind of simple idea, though not so simple in the implementation.  This is really hard for me because I just am not that interested in other people--okay, that isn't precisely true, but still digging into a person and finding them does not come naturally to me.  Since it does all tie into loving people like Christ loves them, I have been trying to be more intentionally interested; actually since I heard a similar idea 5 years ago, I have been trying.

Well, regardless of other people, there are three people in my life that I love with a passion that I am still in the process of knowing.  I can stare at them all day long, but what goes on in their hearts and minds, I don't always know--and I want to.  These are my three children*.  It is a long process, and one I delight in.  My children are just such excellent people.  

Huckleberry is a deep thinker, curious about everything but human interactions, full of faith, loving and very helpful with chores and his sister.  He is a wonderful son and brother.  He is also relatively easy for me to get to know since his personality is a simple blend of mine and my husbands.

SnapDragon is swimming in compassion (complete opposite from me), bright, caring and moody.  Helping him shoulder the cares of the world as he feels them is difficult but so inspiring that one so young can care so much.  I met with a young women recently whose personality is similar to SnapDragon's so I can get into his head a little better.  The insight she shared about her life will help us parent SnapDragon better.

Sunflower, we are still getting to know this little bundle of energy.  She is sweet and kind and is always worried when others are upset, but she also believes the world is hers to command.  She alternates between sheer joy with laughter and fake crying darting from place to place sometimes raining kisses and hugs as she passes.  I consider guarding her heart and learning to understand her a sacred trust.

But my point of this post was not to brag about my children (as mamarazzi as that is).  It is just that someday I hope to grow in love for a fourth child by learning them.  Since I will have missed her first 1 or 2 (or more) years, it will be even more difficult, but all the more critical.  I have seen with my three children that making assumptions about one of them because of how the other reacted or how I would react often leads to me failing them in that moment.  When/if we are ever given the privilege of caring for a fourth child, I want to eliminate assumptions and seek her.  I am writing this idea down so that maybe when that time comes I won't forget that guarding her hurting heart and learning to understand her is a sacred trust that alone I can so easily fail.

In the meantime, starting at noon tomorrow, I get to forget the joyful challenge of getting to know my children and dig deeper with some wonderful women at the women's conference.  My husband does excellently with the children, so I am not worried.
No.  Not worried at all.

*I also love my husband, but not only do I feel like I know him well, every time I wonder what is going on in his head I ask "what are you thinking?"  Apparently men can sometimes be thinking nothing; I always have 8 or more answers.


Julie said...

Poor Oak. Doesn't Sunflower know that she's supposed to wrap him around her little finger, not put him in a choke hold? LOL

Deb said...

Fun to find your blog! The kiddos are getting so BIG! :-)