Because...

...I so wanted to write a post today but I missed my sweet spot of silence. On the flipside I did make potato soup for dinner, played with the girls in the back yard, and watched an episode of Midsomer Murders.

But now the house is filled with noise and Ebee Baby and I should probably go remind SnapDragon that we are home and he should put his book down long enough to get out of the car and into the house.
  

Lame

I believe I have officially completed the cycle of a China Adoption Blog.  According to the cycle I'm to either stop blogging, go private, or morph into a photography blog.  I'll let you guess which one happened.

Now, I'm not actually happy about this.  After all I have a photo blog.  There are times I want to sit down a write out my deep, oh so important thoughts on...well, lots of things.  But even typing this I've been interrupted 3 4 times...so far.  Photos are easier than writing, especially if I want to write something witty or funny.

Maybe you all are reading along because you enjoy the photos.  I can actually believe they may be more interesting than my chaotic ramblings, but someday again I will be posting more words than photos.  That is a promise...to myself.  How else will I remember what I thought about the movie Somewhere Between?

I have an insane number of photos with my girls holding either a rock...

In the meantime, I hope my kids are cute enough for you, because I really do like thinking there is at least one person reading along. 
  

or a stick.  What is up with that?

 

Memorial Day

To me Memorial Day is often just an extra day off for my family to do things together and maybe to think about the people I'd lost in my life.  But this year, it is also the day my friend starts the ceremonies to lay her hero husband to rest...who gave his life in Afghanistan Friday, May 18th.

He willingly laid his life on the line...and paid with his life...for my freedom, for the privileges I (and other Americans) have in this country.  The freedom and privileges my Sweet Pea received on Wednesday, May 16th and SnapDragon sang about in his school performance Thursday, May 24th.

He leaves behind his wife, a baby girl (only one day younger than my Sweet Pea), and many family members and friends.

Please pray for baby K and her beautiful, sweet Mama.  Also, their extended families.  Plus the family of the other young father killed that day and those injured and their families.  Plus others who have been lost and those still serving and risking their lives...for me, for you, for us.

Words cannot adequately express grief...or thanks, but I pray that for me Memorial Day is forever now a little bit more than a day to go to the zoo.


P.S.  Thank you, Major Awesome.  We miss and love you.  Stay safe.
 

No Colorado...Probably

One thing I've been doing to try to deal with the uncertainty around when we'll be leaving is plan things for April just in case we don't go until May.  My husband has been all for some of them...a trip to Mt. Rainier for the day, joining my photography group's beach trip, reading every single Wheel of Time books, but he did balk at one idea.

I thought one of my readers would enjoy the conversation.

"Okay, so if we don't leave until May, what weekend should I go to Colorado?"

"What?  I wasn't serious about you doing that!"

"Why not?  I thought you were!"

"I don't think it'll be a good idea to spend 600 dollars right before we leave for China."

"But the plane ticket is only $180!"  (Personally since I know of families who supposedly remodeled their entire home or bought new cars to deal with the wait even $600 seems he's getting off cheap.)

"Well, you can't go stay with some random person you met on the internet.  You'd have to get a hotel!"

"Oh, no.  I'd stay with them!"

"You can't expect them to FEED you the entire time.  You'd need to buy food at restaurants!"

"But the whole REASON to go is to eat her good cooking!"

"Well, if she's that good of a cook, then I should go."

"She wants me to talk photography with her!  You can't do that!"

"Your biggest complaint about me going to visit a married women is I cannot show her how to take pictures?"

"Well, she is happily married...to a cop!"

So it is unlikely I'll be traveling to Colorado in April.  Our agency so far has a group set up for travel March 28-April 12.  I really, really want to be a part of that group.  Our TA needs to come quickly for us to make the group.  The US consulate has to have appointments still available for us at that point.  Here is where I'm leaving it in God's hands...because HE can move the hands of governments and agencies.  He can get us to China in March...and God, I really pray you do!

However, the desire to visit my friend is real.  The feeling that I could stay with her, but am willing to get a hotel, is solid.  But maybe we should have a few more conversations and maybe at least one phone call first!  I never thought you could make friends on the internet, but I am so glad I was wrong.
 

Random Things that Make Me Happy

I could keep complaining about the wait but it isn't very helpful and actually pretty boring to others.  So how about some of the things that make me happy? Not that that will necessarily be more interesting, but it is more helpful to me.

Borrowing books from the library on the kindle is super cool!  Find a book, hit check-out, and like magic it is just there!  And no overdue fines...in three weeks it just disappears.  Now I probably shouldn't have chosen The Help as my first book or Choosing to See as my second book, except really sometimes it feels great to have a good cry.  Now I'm sticking to safe non-emotional mysteries.  Fake murder and mayhem never make me cry.

Speaking of books, yesterday in the mail I got 4 pictures books I'd ordered from my son's school fundraiser.  3 books I'd ordered because Tonggu Momma recommended them and D is for Dancing Dragon...a China alphabet book (there is a whole series of alphabet books set in various countries).  The rhyme part is not Dr. Seuss quality but it has lots of information on each page about China.  Since B is for Beijing Sunflower has been "traveling" to Beijing all day.  (If only!)  I told her you couldn't get there by car but she informed me her car can fly.

My woman's Bible Study started back up today to study the second half of Jeremiah.  I hope to keep up on the homework...but at minimum I'll learn a lot in class and study with my friends. 

We ordered a carseat for the baby.  I do not remember it being such a hard decision for any of the other kids.  Still it is pink!  Sunflower got SnapDragon's neutral gray seat so I've never had a girl-ee carseat.  It makes me happy!

Yesterday was MOPS and the speaker spoke on the 5 love languages of children.  I had SnapDragon take a quiz to find out his love language. I thought it would be words of encouragement, but the test says quality time.  So now he keeps coming up to me to say, "don't you want to do something with me?  You know it makes me feel loved!"  I did take him and Sunflower to the park today.  50 degrees and sunny is definitely a park day in my state.  I haven't looked at the pictures yet, but I had fun taking them--pictures and the kids--and they had fun running, running, and running.  I do NOT know how Sunflower can move that fast!

So many more things for which to be thankful.  One just how busy my next month will be...Dinner and Photoclub with friends tomorrow, dinner at my SIL Friday, Birthday Party Saturday, two great MOPS meetings planned in March, my Baby Shower planned by so many amazing friends, and our church's women's retreat just to name a few.  Oh, and Huckleberry is turning 12!  I AM blessed...if also a tiny bit stressed about travel approval.
 

Happy Fourth of July!

I've been busy doing things with my family and taking tons of pictures--many I have posted over at my photography blog, so I haven't had time to write a thoughtful post.  

But I do want to wish everyone a Happy Fourth of July (and for those in Canada, hope you had a great Canada Day!)

God Bless America! Please.

 

I Believe in Blogging

I used to be anti-blog.  I could not understand the appeal to posting pictures of your children on the internet for random strangers to see instead of calling a friend for a chat.  In my little world it did create a greater feel of community--for those that blogged.  It made me, who didn't blog, feel excluded and out of it.  "I didn't know you went to Disneyland recently?"  "It was on my blog."  People who didn't see each other any more often than I saw them knew more about each other's lives and to me appeared closer because of it.  One of my friends even announced her pregnancy on her blog (yes, you did).  After that I started reading their blogs each week just so I wouldn't be the last to know everything.  Then almost all of them stopped blogging.  They got too far behind on their pictures.  Almost every post started with "sorry I haven't posted anything for over a month."  Staying in the loop didn't require reading blogs anymore so I stopped reading (except for a few people whom I read because I love them.)

Fast forward three years and I discover adoption forums.  Too terrified to give my opinion at China Adopt Talk, I found We Are Grafted In.  I became interested in the ladies I am "talking" to and follow their links to their (or their husband's) blogs.  My husband and I spent a pleasant evening catching up on and laughing with The Forever Family Blog deciding that if they lived in our country or at least on the same coast as us we would have them over for dinner.  I realized I cannot put all the blogs I love on my tool bar and began my blog. (I feel remiss if I don't mention here that the lame title of my blog came from my screen name at WAGI--Joyful Mama--and the fact that I was finally giving in and starting a blog). And I loved it.  

I didn't tell anyone at first because I didn't want them to say, "I told you you would love blogging."  If only they had told me the real fun in blogging isn't about keeping track of your family activities.  Yes, my blog includes those Mamarazzi posts and I am glad to have records, but if that was the only reason I blogged I would have already given up.  Since no one was reading my blog initially, I could say whatever I wanted.  It gave me a place to be me and not worry about being a better listener or boring people.  I started recording my responses on adoption books to have for my SW.  After a particularly brutal few days of reading Rumor Queen and books which made me doubt our decision to adopt at all, I wrote a post that helped me find peace again.  I was feeling very unsettled when I sat down to write, but by forcing myself to articulate my feelings I was able to resolve my doubts, focus back on God, and move forward.  Many of my posts have come out of my desire to resolve my own internal conflict.  For this reason alone I will continue blogging even if no one reads it.

There are so many other reasons I love blogging, too.  Sometimes I am able to make someone laugh.  I love "teaching" what I have learned about God.  I love getting comments as it fills some deep longing in my soul for words of affirmation.  I am enjoying documenting our adoption story.  It also gives me a place to "dump" my thoughts which is one of the reasons for this post.  I am hoping that writing about why I love to blog I will stop feeling the need to talk about it every time I see my friends.  I don't want to become someone that says, "Oh, you are wondering how our adoption is going?  Well, it's on my blog."  I know how excluded those words can make one feel.

Mostly I think blogging gives me access to a community that I need.  I cannot be a good adoptive parent without talking to others who have been adopted or have adopted.  The diversity of ideas, opinions, and advice is much broader than anything I can find in my current circle of friends.  Finding people going through the same things as you is much easier when you have the whole blogging world from which to pull.  Negotiating the rules of on-line friendships is simultaneously easier and harder than real life friendships--did I offend someone?  How do I respond to comments?  Am I suppose to?  Do you respond to an e-mail even if there is no question to answer?  When I was still new at this I e-mailed a reader to ask if I had offended her because she hadn't read my blog in 3 days--yes! 3 days!  How crazy is that?  Even my best friend doesn't read every day.  Luckily she didn't decide I was insane and write me off because I get to benefit from her compassion, wisdom, and authenticity.  Cyber friends cannot replace real friends, but they can certainly be important, and someday, before you know it the wooden boy becomes a real boy because of shared experiences, kind fellowship, and human love even if you have never met in the flesh.

The biggest down side I see to blogging is that as much I enjoy writing and feeling like you are seeing the "real me" there are some things I cannot share.  Sometimes the thought I need to process and work through is not adoption/race/church/parenting related--okay, not often because that covers a huge portion of my life--but occasionally.  Then I post a Mamarazzi post so no one misses me and spend hours on the phone with my sister, or my friend, or keep my husband up late talking in circles about it and I wish I can blog about it, because when I blog, the circles stop spinning.  

One of the reasons...

I am grateful to live in America...

Father Sentenced to 2.5 years in China for Speaking Out against Tainted Milk 

Words are inadequate to express my thanks to all the soldiers and their families who have made great sacrifices including their lives to protect my freedoms and the future for my children.  

Thank you, Dad (Vietnam Vet).
Thank you, Brother (Serving overseas with the Navy).
Thank you, Friend (Two tours in Iraq, currently serving state side).
Thank you, All.

 Thank you for serving our country!

 John 15:12-13:   “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

* It is possible that the adoption community would frown on mentioning the lack of some civil rights in China in connection with the freedom I experience in my country as it puts my future child's birth country in a bad light, but I AM proud to be an American and see no need to balance out a Veteran's Day post with evidence that I see flaws in the US also. The story of this brave father in China DOES add to my gratitude, and I honor his commitment to his nation.

Testing Signature

Okay.  I have created my own custom signature and added it to my template.  It seems a little annoying how it won't go down into its proper spot until I have completed a line.  I'm also not sure what I think of my signature, maybe a little too busy.  However, I do feel like I'm understanding this blog thing a little bit more each day.  Maybe in a few days I'll learn how to post pictures.  I know giving my family fake names but then posting pictures doesn't exactly guard their privacy.  However, pictures do make a blog more interesting, and I want to be interesting!  Besides, my kids are adorable and how can I have a Mamarazzi blog without pictures?  

First Post

Okay.  This is my first post.  I have no intention with sharing this blog with anyone until I have more than one post, possibly until I have 100.  I have not decided.  What I have decided is there are some things that apparently a BLOG is the place to share it, and I always follow the trends.  Okay, I'm always behind the trends, but I have been following a lot of adoption blogs recently and I decided I needed one of those too--a blog that is.  If for no other reason than to have a place where I can link to all the blogs I really, really like without having a ton of bookmarks my husband will some day delete because "you don't use them, do you?"  So there it is, my first blog post and my secret, ulterior motive for starting a blog. Now I just need to figure out how to add the blog links to my page.