Sunflower Says

Sunflower:  Daddy, can we have dessert tonight?
Daddy:  No.  You already had popsicles today.
Sunflower:  Did Mommy tell you...or do I smell like popsicles?
Mommy:  Mommy told Daddy.

 

Update

I think there are probably a few wondering how we are doing and saying it is going well (which it is) doesn't really give a full picture of life with a new baby, but typing is one of the hardest things to find time to do.  Especially an update post.  I don't want to give an unrealistic portrayal of our life, but neither do I want to sound like I'm complaining when the issues we are having are pretty typical to adding a new baby into the house--sleep and sister jealousy.  In fact, I am so happy that to point out the things that are hard seems kind of petty.


Actually Sweet Pea sleeps okay in that she likes her crib fine and doesn't need to be held while sleeping or rocked to sleep (though sometimes I try, because who doesn't want to hold a sleeping baby if you can?)  But if she naps it is for 20 minutes here or there and at night she typically wakes up anywhere between 2 and 5 times.  She doesn't need much when she wakes and sometimes she self-soothes herself back to sleep within seconds, but her shrieking cries jolt us both awake, so no one is sleeping straight through the night.  So we are tired.

And it isn't so much that the girls are jealous, though Sweet Pea will sometimes army crawl over to me if she sees me holding Sunflower, as it is just taking them time to adjust to each other.  It was hard for Sunflower for us to be gone and when we came home we couldn't give her all the attention she needed.  She was and is very excited about the baby, but baby is less excited about having a big sister (she warmed up to the boys quickly, but Sunflower still kind of scares her a little.)  Somedays it feels like I am a football player...with Sweet Pea the football and me trying to keep her from the other team, Sunflower.  Now Sunflower isn't doing anything mean...she is just very aggressive in her mothering...Sister, Time to sleep (push her into lying down); Here's your chew (cram it into her mouth), etc.  But yesterday Sunflower said, "I am not mad you went to China...I'm glad you went to bring me back baby sister...I guess she is for all of us."  So we are making good progress.

Then there is so much good.  Sweet Pea had her medical check and blood draws, etc.  The only concern the doctor has is hardened ear wax, so she gets to have eardrops a few times a day to loosen it up.  He doesn't think we need to have her evaluated for PT of any kind as each day she is learning new things.  We'll reevaluate that again at her next check-up in July, but it seems unlikely that she'll need any therapy at this time.  She came to us unable to even sit up on her own completely, but now she plays hours that way, she can roll over, crawl (not on her knees, but she is starting to try them), she can pick-up little foods and feed herself, she could hold her bottle if we wanted her to, she plays with toys, goes to get the toy she wants, and puts them in her mouth, etc.  She is even starting to pull herself up on things a little and can stand if holding on.  The only thing she cannot do that I think she maybe should be able to do is go from a lying down position to a sitting position.  She even turns at the sound of her name which Huckleberry couldn't do at nine months, so it completely astounds me (especially since I had trouble using her American name in China and sometimes still just call her Sweet Pea.)

On the attachment front it is still too early to really tell for somethings, but it seems to be going exactly as it should.  It would take a whole 'nother post to really explain what we see and do, but everyday we get a new sign that she is settling in.  I once read a blog post that stated, "you don't know what you don't have/is missing from the relationship until it comes."  An example was I just assumed Sweet Pea was used to being fed facing out as that was the only way she would take a bottle, but then I saw her Nanny feed her in the traditional pose, and then a few weeks ago, Sweet Pea snuggled with me for the first time while eating, looking me in the face.  It wasn't something that had worried me, but now that it is different, I see that she was a bit vigilant and it is a good thing that she is starting to relax.  She has giggled a lot less than she did in China since we've been home and only in the last few days has it been easy to get her to giggle by tickling and playing, so I don't think we've yet seen the fully relaxed Sweet Pea, but I believe we are getting there and will get there.  And that is very, very good.

So I complain about my messy house, as I have for 12 years, and I spend my days playing with my girls trying to find the right balance to who needs me when.  Now that Sweet Pea is more relaxed and plays happier, I am able to devote a little more to Sunflower and more importantly Sweet Pea will let Sunflower play with her without screaming which is all that Sunflower wanted.  And someday maybe I'll be able to blog and not just because I'm up early AND my husband is staying home from work on Fridays.

 

 

Sunday...No Monday...Snapshot

I alternate between the state of being too busy feeding and entertaining two little girls to think straight or too tired to think straight.  Either way things are not getting done and today Sweet Pea was the only girl dressed at our house (the boys still have school and Oak went to work).

Taken with my Nikon d3100 and 50mm 1.8 lens  ISO 200 f/2.0  50mm 1/250     It is a crop sensor camera, so with my 50mm on I have to be pretty far back for a full shot of her.  I started there, but she just kept insisting on getting closer! 

But even if clothes are going straight into dressers from the dryer and I spent the day in my jammies, I somehow find the time to snap a few photos.  It is the only way to make sure we don't miss another precious moment of her adorable self.

 

Wordless Wednesday

Still finding our new rhythm...

 But overall it is going very, very well.  She is amazing!

At some point I'll have the time to share more, but not on Wordless Wednesday!

 

The SWI Visit Part 2

3 weeks ago we visited the SWI (Social Welfare Institute) that we thought Sweet Pea was living in.  It turned out she lived in a home with her Nanny and 4 other babies and her Nanny's family.  But still this is the place that she would come for paperwork, doctor visits, and for the pictures they sent us while we were waiting.  At the time I did post a bit about the visit itself, but I had not yet sorted through the photos.  So here are...some, a very small some really...of the photos I took that day.
It took us awhile to find the orphanage as my guide wasn't sure how to find it.  Finally the assistant director came out to meet us.  She hopped in the front seat with our guide and directed the driver.  I took many photos of the city as we wandered the streets.


During the visit, though I took many pictures, there are many shots I missed because I was so focused on staying close to my baby and I wasn't sure exactly what was allowed.  But here is Sweet Pea immediately upon being reunited with her Nanny.

It was the first time we'd seen her that upset.  We've seen it since...usually at the doctor's office.  I don't know what she was feeling at all, but I know it was hard on all of us.  And it was hard to leave her in her Nanny's arms crying.  But I'd told myself I'd let her hold her and she took off to the kitchen to feed her.
But our guide and the assistant director didn't give her a chance.  

The hall outside the kitchen.  I was so focused on Sweet Pea and asking about my friend's baby and baby rooms that I didn't look at the rooms on this floor or the signs.  I didn't take wide angle shots of the area.  I only took pictures of Sweet Pea and her Nanny in the director's office.  I'm not sure I have one single good shot of the director, though I do have several of the assistant director.  I didn't ask the questions that now flow through my mind or the ones I expect Sweet Pea may someday have.  I guess this is why some urge you to wait to visit the SWI on a Heritage Tour...when the baby will remember it.  Certainly I want to do that someday, too.  I just wish I'd been better prepared for this visit.

However...I did get a lot of photos.  The whole picture is just not complete.  But here they are.  I'll try to keep my words to a minimum, but feel free to ask questions in the comments.  I'll answer what I can and would.

The Outside...Everything was under construction.  I'm still amazed we were allowed to visit.

The seat the Nanny tried to put Sweet Pea in while she prepared the bottle.  I held her instead.

The room I THOUGHT was Sweet Pea's since the Nanny made the bottle in it.  On the right is the door to the hall and a small room with running water, possibly bathroom.  On the left is a door to the balcony.  There were 4 babies here.

Oak and the Assistant Director.  They'd finally tracked us down.  Oak and Huckleberry apparently looked in all of the baby rooms looking for us and found us in the last one.  I only saw the inside of 3 of the rooms that held babies.  This was the third floor of the building we were in and the floor had 6 to 8 rooms of babies.

Ummm, I look crazy here, but I was just feeling a little overwhelmed and a lot unsure of what to do and what was allowed.

One of the other baby rooms on the floor...Labeled Baby Room #3

Baby Room #3's Balcony (and Huckleberry)

The 3rd floor had rooms all down one side of the hall and a balcony basically the length of the building on the other side of the hall.  

Then the 3rd room we visited (we went back to baby room #3 to take more pictures after spending time in this last room.)  Here Sweet Pea's Nanny continued to feed her her bottle, everyone was talking, and I finally decided they didn't seem to mind what I took pictures of.  This room was labeled Dry Room, but it was now housing babies and a Nanny.

The Balcony of Dry Room #3...Clearly the Nanny's washed the kids clothes in the little washroom each room had and hung them on their own balconies.  There was a lot of windows and light in the whole building. 

The view from the balcony.  I don't know if it was part of the old SWI and remodel or something else entirely.

Then we left.  We went to Sweet Pea's finding spot and I took several pictures until someone seemed to be getting upset and my guide rushed us away.  Then I took more pictures as Oak was holding the sleeping Sweet Pea as we drove out of town and back to Nanchang.  Basically it was the small city of Yugan with a village on its edge, then rice fields and rivers and countryside until we got back to the large city of Nanchang.

Couldn't help thinking this could have been Sweet Pea's life in an ideal world.