Friday, June 15, 2012

Update

I think there are probably a few wondering how we are doing and saying it is going well (which it is) doesn't really give a full picture of life with a new baby, but typing is one of the hardest things to find time to do.  Especially an update post.  I don't want to give an unrealistic portrayal of our life, but neither do I want to sound like I'm complaining when the issues we are having are pretty typical to adding a new baby into the house--sleep and sister jealousy.  In fact, I am so happy that to point out the things that are hard seems kind of petty.


Actually Sweet Pea sleeps okay in that she likes her crib fine and doesn't need to be held while sleeping or rocked to sleep (though sometimes I try, because who doesn't want to hold a sleeping baby if you can?)  But if she naps it is for 20 minutes here or there and at night she typically wakes up anywhere between 2 and 5 times.  She doesn't need much when she wakes and sometimes she self-soothes herself back to sleep within seconds, but her shrieking cries jolt us both awake, so no one is sleeping straight through the night.  So we are tired.

And it isn't so much that the girls are jealous, though Sweet Pea will sometimes army crawl over to me if she sees me holding Sunflower, as it is just taking them time to adjust to each other.  It was hard for Sunflower for us to be gone and when we came home we couldn't give her all the attention she needed.  She was and is very excited about the baby, but baby is less excited about having a big sister (she warmed up to the boys quickly, but Sunflower still kind of scares her a little.)  Somedays it feels like I am a football player...with Sweet Pea the football and me trying to keep her from the other team, Sunflower.  Now Sunflower isn't doing anything mean...she is just very aggressive in her mothering...Sister, Time to sleep (push her into lying down); Here's your chew (cram it into her mouth), etc.  But yesterday Sunflower said, "I am not mad you went to China...I'm glad you went to bring me back baby sister...I guess she is for all of us."  So we are making good progress.


Then there is so much good.  Sweet Pea had her medical check and blood draws, etc.  The only concern the doctor has is hardened ear wax, so she gets to have eardrops a few times a day to loosen it up.  He doesn't think we need to have her evaluated for PT of any kind as each day she is learning new things.  We'll reevaluate that again at her next check-up in July, but it seems unlikely that she'll need any therapy at this time.  She came to us unable to even sit up on her own completely, but now she plays hours that way, she can roll over, crawl (not on her knees, but she is starting to try them), she can pick-up little foods and feed herself, she could hold her bottle if we wanted her to, she plays with toys, goes to get the toy she wants, and puts them in her mouth, etc.  She is even starting to pull herself up on things a little and can stand if holding on.  The only thing she cannot do that I think she maybe should be able to do is go from a lying down position to a sitting position.  She even turns at the sound of her name which Huckleberry couldn't do at nine months, so it completely astounds me (especially since I had trouble using her American name in China and sometimes still just call her Sweet Pea.)

On the attachment front it is still too early to really tell for somethings, but it seems to be going exactly as it should.  It would take a whole 'nother post to really explain what we see and do, but everyday we get a new sign that she is settling in.  I once read a blog post that stated, "you don't know what you don't have/is missing from the relationship until it comes."  An example was I just assumed Sweet Pea was used to being fed facing out as that was the only way she would take a bottle, but then I saw her Nanny feed her in the traditional pose, and then a few weeks ago, Sweet Pea snuggled with me for the first time while eating, looking me in the face.  It wasn't something that had worried me, but now that it is different, I see that she was a bit vigilant and it is a good thing that she is starting to relax.  She has giggled a lot less than she did in China since we've been home and only in the last few days has it been easy to get her to giggle by tickling and playing, so I don't think we've yet seen the fully relaxed Sweet Pea, but I believe we are getting there and will get there.  And that is very, very good.
So I complain about my messy house, as I have for 12 years, and I spend my days playing with my girls trying to find the right balance to who needs me when.  Now that Sweet Pea is more relaxed and plays happier, I am able to devote a little more to Sunflower and more importantly Sweet Pea will let Sunflower play with her without screaming which is all that Sunflower wanted.  And someday maybe I'll be able to blog and not just because I'm up early AND my husband is staying home from work on Fridays.


  Photobucket

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Love reading this update! I sound like things are going wonderfully (with some little bumps along the way). I do hope that you get more sleep soon, though!

No Greater Love said...

Yay....you wrote a loooong post. :) I got so excited when I saw it on my blog roll. Sounds like you are doing great. :) Just wait....I bet the Fall will bring more blog time....which I will anxiously wait for. Unless of course I just show up at your door step before then. Ya never know.

Bonnie, Jim and Ainsley said...

I loved reading this!!!! Your life so mirrors mine. It made me feel not so alone :) Thanks. Your girls are beautiful!!