tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878021997028927.post2690222231610442049..comments2023-05-29T05:07:09.326-07:00Comments on Joyful Mama Gives In!: Our Adoption Story Part 6b--Why Not Special Needs?Cedarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10698395427497780283noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878021997028927.post-16279781914355247682012-01-21T02:02:28.770-08:002012-01-21T02:02:28.770-08:00I found your blog through the 'BABIES!' po...I found your blog through the 'BABIES!' post on RQ. Congratulations on your daughter! Wonderful news. We have one bio son and two adopted children, both SN, from China (boy and girl, both with limb differences).<br />I think it's excellent that you have used your blog to shape your opinion and also express it. You obviously have thought this through and have reasons why SN adoption is not (now) for your family. I respect that. <br /><br />There is one sentence though that struck me in this post: "How is taking the already unknowns involved in adopting a child you have never met and adding it to a known special need (ie whatever is listed on the child's medical file) and the unknowns associated with this need logical?"<br /><br />The answer is, IMHO, it's NOT logical. Certainly not. The point is... These choices are not logical because these children are already there. Nobody in their right mind would, if they had the choice, choose to have a child with SN's. Every mother that is pregnant, where ever she is in the world, wants a healthy and non SN child. I am sure the biological mothers of my children had that very same wish.<br /><br />But the thing is... These children already exist. They are living and breathing human beings, waiting somewhere. It is not a matter of wanting to bring them into the world or not (SN and all) but to bring them into your world. It is a choice between a life in an orphanage (or foster family, if they are lucky) or a life in our family.<br /><br />Some call that 'saving a child'. We have just followed our hearts. We know we cannot save áll children and we will not grow more as a family, for reasons that are more logical and rational than I have mentioned here above (financial reasons, no more bedrooms, car is full...).<br /><br />But we felt that adopting from the SN program is way, way less scary and risky than other people have assumed it to be. Way less tricky than giving birth. When I was pregnant with my oldest I had no boxes to tick (no spina bifida, please), no choices to make. It was this child, all bets are off. Whatever comes out of you, that's it. No 24 hour period (which gives me the willies, because your child is your child, but that's a whole other discussion)in which you can reconsider your parenthood.<br /><br />We have felt that SN adoption is just adoption. Our kids have limb differences, which means different shoes for our son, a prosthetic foot, special bicycle, custom made table in school, different cutlery (he has one arm only) and special swimming lessons. My daughter has been operated upon twice, has a special knife for her small hand, and other than that - nothing.<br /><br />But it has also meant great joy, to see people who are determined to do what they want, to open that jar, unwrap that piece of candy, climb that fence... Funny, loving, happy children. That has vastly outweighed any medical or social issues. So if you still consider SN: go for it, I say!<br /><br />Sorry to have almost made an entire blog under your blog... :-)<br />'Thread hijacked' is the icon on RQ, this seems 'blog hijacked'...<br />My apologies!<br /><br />I hope you have a speedy traveldate and that all goes well with your daughter and your family.<br />All the best!<br /><br />Karen Visser<br />The Netherlands<br />Mother to Casper (9, bio), Ying Xin (nearly 8, SN, Wenzhou China) and Hong Jie (5 1/2, SN, Hangzhou China)<br />http://onsgemengdegezin.blogspot.comKaren Visserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10036838248932791844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878021997028927.post-39301585230485569472011-07-17T06:03:38.692-07:002011-07-17T06:03:38.692-07:00I read the whole series last night. But of course...I read the whole series last night. But of course I didn't see the neat tab with "Adoption Story" until I had read a ton of "adoption tagged posts." :) I have sooo much to say...but I'll refrain, and just say, AMAZING. The process is amazing...your writing is amazing...your honesty is amazing. I really enjoyed reading it all.<br /><br />And...also my dream has always been that my husband's v. would fail. So, I seriously loved that part of the story. That is too incredible.<br /><br />I will be praying for your family!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878021997028927.post-88573556912415394712010-12-19T10:44:54.359-08:002010-12-19T10:44:54.359-08:00As you know, we have also been waiting in the NSN ...As you know, we have also been waiting in the NSN line for years as well. Thanks for sharing your heart, your thoughts, God's plan for your life.a Tonggu Mommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01365812914466181060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878021997028927.post-33618001348838454592010-12-19T07:52:15.800-08:002010-12-19T07:52:15.800-08:00You are doing a wonderful job, processing so much....You are doing a wonderful job, processing so much. It's good and I think may be exactly where God wants you, doing this processing and gathering of info. He'll reveal His plan in time and then you'll know.Nancy @ Ordinary Miracles & The Crazy 10https://www.blogger.com/profile/15315696255753062618noreply@blogger.com